written 25 July 2022

It's so annoying to me that I forget things.

I live my life, and there are events and accomplishments and things I do that I want to remember. A funny little joke I see somewhere on the internet, a really good book or movie or show that I've watched. But if I ever try to think back to the past, I know my memory passes over a lot of stuff that I'd rather not forget.

I've been trying to record things that I want to remember, but that's even harder than just trying to remember in the first place (but maybe only because it's not really possible to *try* to remember).

My camera roll is filled with screenshots and photos and videos of the memories that make up me. A screenie of the park map for Canobie, that one amusement park I went to during my Harvard pre-college program. The pretty sunsets and sunrises at the airports I've been visiting so much this summer, a video of me showing off a cool trick I did on roller blades taken with the phone propped up against a curb.

I have a physical diary that I've been filling with thoughts, and my folder system on my laptop also holds things that I've done—scraps of code from various languages (I tried learning Rust a while ago), a .org file with videos and music and books that I've liked, images that I've saved for later.

There's a picture frame on my bedroom wall with a collage of stuff I've collected from various places. Greeting cards are my favorite, they make them so prettily. I lost the one I got from Cornell, it was filled with stars and had a quote I can't remember. It must've been good, though. A piece of paper from the West Point gift shop, filled with seeds, made to be planted in the ground. Wildflowers. A texture almost like watercolor paper, so rough. It says "Constitution Island" on it, in a serif font. I love serif fonts, they're so pretty. A thing with bees and lavender flowers from Barnes n Nobles, a flower here and there highlighted with some gold colored film that reflects the light so nicely.

This next part is something that I've seen said plenty of times now, but I'll say it again because it's important to me: it's so interesting that every single person, everyone I pass on the street or go to class with, is a human being with their own thoughts and memories. I don't think our brains are really good at understanding that. It's pretty cool. Maybe this person here likes arranging flowers or this other one's been practicing HEMA for the past few years. You'd never know.

I've always been bad at writing conclusions.

Current song stuck in head: Alesso & Marshmello - Chasing Stars ft. James Bay